Werewolves Outplayed
by Fanfictionlurker1
Summary: New Moon AU. Laurent finds a very easy way to escape the werewolves. Because honestly, how could anybody not think about it?


**Author's note: **English isn't my native language, so be tolerant.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

"I don't believe it!"

And truthfully Laurent really couldn't believe his bad luck, when he stared at five horse-sized werewolves, standing in front of him. They emerged from the forest, one by one, as if they were moving in a military formation. All five gave him menacing glares and even more menacing snarls. They didn't even look at Bella Swan. Their undivided attention was for him.

Not waiting for them to attack first, Laurent bolted to the forest in full vampire speed. Sadly, wolves proved to be just as fast when they gave chase. Distance between a vampire and his pursuers was getting smaller and smaller. While running, wolves hot on his trail, Laurent realized with dread that unless he wants to get eaten he'll have to think of something else.

And then he saw it. The most obvious solution. Solution so simple he felt the urge to facepalm.

With embarrassed scowl, he jumped on the nearest tree. In a blur he climbed higher and looked down at the pack, standing spread around the trunk, growling angrily. They all tried to leap to reach him, but couldn't jump high enough. Big russet one tried to climb only to slide down, leaving claw marks on the bark.

"That's no use, my friends," Laurent said calmly. "Your paws are clearly not prepared for such task. Give evolution a few more millions of years. Maybe you'll grow thumbs."

His pursuers barked, growled and glared some more. If looks could kill, vampire would certainly turn into ash. As it couldn't, he only smiled lightly.

Wolves tried a different tactic. They threw themselves on the tree, trying to make it fall. They succeeded of course, but vampire promptly jumped from the toppling tree, landing on another and another.

Werewolves could only follow him down below. So close, yet so far.

"It's been a pleasure, but I have to go." He waved mockingly and continued his escape, leaving angry barking and howling behind him.

* * *

_I really don't believe it!_

Sam was livid. And he wasn't the only one. Every member of the pack shared his fury. He heard their thoughts, after all. They were so close, so close to killing their first Cold One! Everything was going so well. First they saved Bella Swan in the last possible second, then they were about to rip her attacker to shreds and then... The bastard... just had to run away! It would have been such a great battle, glorious victory. Straight out of their legends. It was theirs by birthright, it was a dream come true. They would be heroes of the tribe, they would be like Ephraim Black, like Taha Aki, like...

_Son of a bitch! How is that even possible?_ Thought Embry, staring gloomily in general direction where vampire escaped.

_I would have avenged Bella... _Jacob started daydreaming about somehow overriding Alpha's command and telling Isabella Swan the truth. Then he could brag on and on about killing the leech who tried to have her for dinner. He would be her hero, she would look at him with adoration, she would go out on a date, she would kiss him, she would...

_Please, cut the lovesick crap, Jake! _Paul snapped. _Situation is lousy enough without your moping._

Jacob bared his teeth and jumped.

_Stop! _Sam's command sounded in both their heads, stopping the scuffle before it could start for good.

_We will not fight among each other. _

_Erm... Sam?_

_Yes?_

_What went wrong?_ Quil asked

_How did he figure out we can't climb? _Embry whined. It would be such an easy win. Bloodsucker shouldn't stand a chance against them all. He should be dead by now!

_I think the real question is, how could he not figure it out? It's quite obvious when you think about it._

In their wolf forms, their limbs weren't equipped for climbing. If their human forms they could climb, but a vampire would easily outrun or defeat them.

Next few seconds went by in awkward silence.

_Next time, _Sam sighed in defeat, _we attack right away. No standing in front of a vampire, trying to scare him._

All members of the pack howled pitifully.

_But Sam, the entrance plays an important part in sparking fear in our enemies._

_It is also, as it turned out, giving them a head start they can use to figure out our weaknesses._

With a final sigh, werewolves dejectedly trudged home.

* * *

"I really, _really _don't believe it!" Laurent muttered to himself, pulling a cellphone out of his pocket. He stopped running when he got to Port Angeles. He kept it up long after he lost the pack. Too bad about a lost meal though. Well, too bad for him. Victoria however...

He dialed Victoria's number. She picked up after the first signal.

"Laurent? What did you find out?"

"Polite as ever, Victoria. How about a _hallo._"

"Hallo. Happy now? Do we have to exchange pleasantries for the next few hours, or will you tell me what you found out?"

"I found out quite a lot. For starters, Cullens moved out."

"What?!"

"Yes, that's right. They moved out months ago, leaving their human unprotected."

Couple minutes later, after stream of curses and shouts ended, Victoria was capable of finally calming down. With certain difficulty.

"Are you certain?"

"Absolutely. Their house stood empty for months."

"Well... if you're sure about this, I have no reason to be after her. I'll have to just go after Cullens themselves. Damn! So many wasted months."

Laurent shrugged.

"If you think you have it rough, you should meet those werewolves that chased me today."

"Werewolves?"

"Five of them. But I escaped."

Victoria still remembered facing one werewolf with James. She remembered how hard it was to put down just one of those beasts. So when she spoke again there was a tone of admiration in her voice.

"So... how did you escape them?"

"I climbed trees."

"... That's it?"

"That's all it took."

Laurent remembered his panic, his pointless, unnecessary fear and he sure was glad vampires can't blush. After all was done, he couldn't believe figuring that out took him so much time. It was so easy! Every vampire ever chased by those wolves had to think of this right away. He started to laugh at his own stupidity.

"Victoria, if you ever decide to come back to Forks, remember this. When you see a werewolf, just stay on trees!"


End file.
